Monty Python and the Holy Grail Sounds
Scene 7 - Scene 12

DescriptionSize
Scene 7
Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons!17K
Good idea oh Lord! Of course it's a good idea!!!!8K
Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'. 16K
I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord. Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms -- they're so depressing. Now knock it off! Yes, Lord.22K
That is your purpose Arthur, the quest for the Holy Grail!28K
Scene 8
Who's castle is this? This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard!15K
He says they've already got one. Are you sure he's got one? Oh yes, it's very nice!!16K
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest16K
I'm French!! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly king?14K
What are you doing in England?? Mind your own business!!!8K
I blow my nose at you so called Arthur King, you and all your silly English kniggits.22K
You don't frighten us English pigdogs!!10K
What a strange person5K
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!16K
Go and boil your bottom sons of a silly person!!!12K
I fart in your general direction!!8K
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.10K
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.13K
Runaway!! Runaway!!8K
Ah, this one is for your mother!!6K
Fetche lavache! Quoi? Fetche lavache! [moo]13K
The Frenchmen's raspberry11K
Who leaps out? Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, and and uh.... Ohhhhhhh24K
Scene 9
Pictures for Schools, take 8. Action! Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually. Now, this is what they did-- [clop clop] [An unknown knight rides in and kills the narrator] Greg!87K
Scene 10
Alright,alright, we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits10K
Quick, get the sword out, I want to cut his head off!!6K
Oh, cut your own head off! Yes, do us all a favor!9K
Sir Robin meets the 3-headed knight (part 1)75K
Sir Robin meets the 3-headed knight (part2)99K
Robins minstrel sings the Brave Sir Robin Song120K
Robins minstrel sings the Brave Sir Robin Ran Away Song54K
In that case I shall have to kill you5K
Oh, I don't think so.4K
Yapping on all the time. You're lucky, you're not next to him. What do you mean? You snore. Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath. Well its only because you don't brush my teeth. Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.33K
Yes. Oh, but not biscuits. All right all right not biscuits, but lets kill him anyway. Right! He buggered off.23K
Scene 11
Prepare a bed for our guest. Oh, thank you thank you thank you. Away, away vile tesses18K
Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.... 59K
[clap clap] Ah. What seems to be the trouble? They're doctors?! Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.23K
Torment me no longer!!4K
Mine is Zoot... just Zoot.9K
Oh! but we are nice and we shall attend to your every, every need!14K
Try to relax.Are you sure that's absolutley necessary? We must examine you. There's nothing wrong with that!! Please, we are doctors.28K
I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.7K
I seek the Grail. I have seen it, here in this castle. Oh no! Oh no! Bad bad Zoot!24K
Bad naughty Zoot5K
She has been setting a light to our beacon, which I just remembered is grail shaped12K
You must tie her down on a bed and spank her9K
You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me. And spank me. And me.20K
And after the spanking, the oral sex!! Ooooh, the oral sex, the oral sex!!! Well, I could stay a bit longer20K
Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!!8K
Oh Shit!!!5K
I can defeat them, there's only 150 of them!!7K
We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril. I don't think I was. Yes you were, you were in terrible peril12K
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. No, it's too perilous9K
Well, let me have just a little bit of peril? No, it's unhealthy.8K
Bet you're gay!! No I'm not.6K
Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow's flights away -- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--Get on with it!!29K
Get on with it! Yes, get on with it! Yes, get on with it!!!14K
Scene 12
He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered.14K
There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.24K
Ah, hee he he ha! And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the grail? Ha ha he he he he!26K
Seek you the Bridge of Death. The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail? Hee hee ha ha!29K