Monty Python and the Holy Grail Sounds
Scene 19 - Scene 24

Scene 19
Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now? It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But there is one small problem...27K
another shrubbery!9K
Not another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.26K
Icky icky icky icky kapang zoop boing12K
you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring! [dramatic chord]22K
Cut down a tree with a herring?5K
My liege, it's Sir Robin!(singing): Packing it in and packing it up And sneaking away and buggering off And chickening out and pissing about Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge Oh, Robin! My liege! It's good to see you! Aaaaugh! He said the word! Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail? (singing): He is sneaking away and buggering off- Shut up!46K
No, it is far from-- Aaaaugh! Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! Oh, stop it! Aaaaugh! Oh! He said it again! Patsy! Wait! I said it! I said it! Ooh! I said it again!38K
In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing. Yay!26K
Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.22K
And so Arthur and Bedevere and Sir Robin set out on their search to find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24.25K
Scene 20
What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without flint or tinder? I am an enchanter! By what name are you known? There are some who call me ... Tim! Greetings, Tim the enchanter. Greetings King Arthur!54K
You seek the Holy Grail!9K
You know much that is hidden, O Tim. Quite.9K
Yes, we're, we're looking for the Grail. Our quest is to find the Holy Grail. Yeah, It is, yes, yup, yup, yeah hmm.22K
Uh, so, uh, anything you can do to, uh, to help, would be... very... helpful...26K
A grail??4K
To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Caerbannorg -- wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Rheged [boom] make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.50K
Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth13K
What an eccentric performance5K
Scene 21
Behold the cave of Caerbannog!16K
Right! Keep me covered. What with? Just keep me covered.14K
What, behind the rabbit? It is the rabbit!8K
You silly sod!!!5K
Why, it's no ordinary rabbit.That's the most foul, cruel bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.18K
You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!10K
that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer! Get stuffed!!!14K
What's he do? Nibble your bum?5K
He's got huge sharp --- He can leap about --- Look at the bones!!17K
It'll do you up a treat, mate! Oh yeah?? You mangy Scot's git!12K
One rabbit stew comin' right up! Look! [squeak] Aaaugh! [chord]20K
Jesus Christ!!!5K
How many did we lose? Gawain... Ector. And Bors . That's five. Three, sir. Three.14K
And we'd better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite.Would it help to confuse it if we run away more? Shut up, and go and change your armor!22K
I warned you, but did you listen to me? Ohh, no,you,no, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?19K
Runaway!! Runaway!!8K
Shut up, and go and change your armor6K
We have the Holy Handgrenade5K
Consult the book of armaments.5K
Oh Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou may blow Thy enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.20K
'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'89K
One! Two! Five!! Three Sir!! Three!!!10K
Scene 22
'... the Castle of uuggggggh'. What is that? He must have died while carving it.22K
Look, if he was dying he wouldn't bother to carve "Arrrrgggggggghhhhhhh", he'd just say it!14K
Perhaps he was dictating. Oh, shut up.7K
Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall? No, that's Saint Ives. Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives. Iiiiives.21K
Oooohoohohooo! No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat. Aauuugh. No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm. Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh! Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!31K
[roar] It's the legendary Black Beast of aaaaaaaaagh!!11K
As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue.42K
Scene 23
There it is!!! The Bridge of Death!!11K
He asks each traveller five questions-- Three questions. Three questions. He who answers the five questions-- Three Questions. Three questions may cross in safety. What if you get a question wrong? Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. Oh, I won't go.43K
Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.11K
Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.27K
Ask me the questions bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.8K
What is your name? My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot. What is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail.22K
What is your favorite color?7K
Right, off you go. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much14K
What is your name? Sir Robin of Camelot. What is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail. What is the capital of Assyria? I don't know that! Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!51K
What is your favorite color? Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh! Heh heh.30K
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?10K
What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?8K
(Bridgekeeper) What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!20K
How do you know so much about swallows?7K
Well, you have to know these things when you're a King you know7K
Scene 24
Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast vouchsafed to us the most holy-[twong baaaa] Jesus Christ! 'Allo, daffy English kniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who has the brain of a duck, you know!47K
I one more time-a unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window-dresser!15K
I wave my private parts at your aunties!!!8K
you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.13K
No chance, English bed-wetting types7K
You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms10K
We fire arrows into the tops of your head and make castanets out of your testicles already13K
The Frenchmen's raspberry11K
And now, remain gone illegitimate-faced buggerfolk! And, if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English kniggets!13K
French persons! Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avenged. 18K
The Theme from the Intermission8K