Monty Python's Meaning of Life Sounds


DescriptionSize
The Accountancy Shanty179K
Mrs. Moore's contractions are more frequent, doctor! Good. Take her into the Fetus Frightening Room. Right.11K
And get the machine that goes Ping!!!7K
Hallo. Now, don't you worry. We'll soon have you cured. Leave it all to us. You'll never know what hit you.17K
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes Ping!!!!7K
Is it a boy or a girl? Now, I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?14K
So, it's lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. It's available on Betamax, VHS, and Super Eight.22K
I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments10K
Blame the Catholic Church for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things.8K
If they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.13K
Couldn't you have your balls cut off?4K
Every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby. But it's the same with us, Harry. What do you mean? Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.29K
I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue21K
I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas,... [sniff] ...and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. You what? French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress. Have you got one?50K
Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I'll have a French tickler for I am a Protestant14K
Despite the attempts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continued to multiply everywhere.19K
Now did I, or did I not ... do ... vaginal... juices? Yes sir17K
R-- rubbing the clitoris, sir? What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss?21K
You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.10K
So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede toward the clitoris17K
We'll take the foreplay as read7K
Dont stand there gawping like you've never seen the hand of God before12K
During the night old Perkins got hit leg bitten sort of...off14K
Why are you dressed as a tiger?5K
Tiger brand coffee, is a real treat. Even tigers prefer a cup of it to real meat10K
God told us to do it. To tell the truth, we are completely mad.9K
We're inmates of a Bengali psychiatric institution and we escaped by making this skin out of old used cereal packets17K
Hello, good evening, and welcome to the middle of the film12K
Find the fish.5K
I wonder where that fish has gone?12K
And it went whereever I did go12K
Live organ transplants6K
Hello, can we have your liver?6K
What's this then? A liver donors card. Need we say more?10K
I can't give it to you now. It says, 'in the event of death'. Uh. Oh! No one who has ever had their liver taken out by us has survived.22K
People aren't wearing enough hats6K
The entire "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis" song from the restaurant scene100K
Better get a bucket, I'm gonna throw up!!8K
And now, how would you like it served? All, uh, mixed up togezer in a bucket?11K
don't skimp on the pate.5K
And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint. Nah. Oh, sir, it's only a tiny, little, thin one. No. Fuck off. I'm full.23K
It's only wafer thin!5K
I couldn't eat another thing, I'm absolutely stuffed.8K
F**k you, I can live my life in my own way if I want to10K
You have been convicted by twelve good persons and true... of the crime of first degree making of gratuitous, sexist jokes in a moving picture.26K
Mr. Death is a reaper. The Grim Reaper!!! Hardly surprising in this weather. Ha Ha Ha!21K
I am death.8K
I have come for you. You mean... to-- Take you away.25K
Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?8K
Well, you're dead now, so shut up!11K
You barge in here, quite uninvited, break glasses, and then announce, quite casually, that we're all dead.14K
Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous12K
none of you have got any balls8K
How can we all have died at the same time? [Dramatic Chord] The salmon mousse21K
Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life. Thank you, Brigitte. M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations48K
Family entertainment bollocks!! What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats...36K