The Black Knight Scene


ARTHUR:You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my Court of Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

ARTHUR: What?

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.

ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!

BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.

ARTHUR: So be it!

[hah]

[parry thrust]

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off after a short battle]

ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!

BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.

ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?

BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.

ARTHUR: You liar!

BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!

[hah]

[parry thrust]

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-

[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]

BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.

ARTHUR: What?

BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!

ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?

ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.

BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.

ARTHUR: Look!

BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.

[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]

ARTHUR: Look, stop that.

BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!

ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right! [whop]

BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!

ARTHUR: You'll what?

BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!

ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?

BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!

ARTHUR: You're a loony.

BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

[whop]

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT: All right, we'll call it a draw.

ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away, 'eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!





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