'Holy Grail' - Bridge of Death Scene


ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Death!

ROBIN: Oh, great.

ARTHUR: Look!! There's the old man from Scene 24!

BEDEVERE: What is he doing here?

ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveller five questions--

GALAHAD: Three questions

ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--

GALAHAD: Three Questions

ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety.

ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?

ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

ROBIN: Oh, I won't go.

GALAHAD: Who's going to answer the questions?

ARTHUR: Sir Robin!

ROBIN: Yes?

ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.

ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?

LAUNCELOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east--

ARTHUR: No, no, hang on hang on hang on! Just answer the five questions--

GALAHAD: Three questions

ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch... and pray.

LAUNCELOT: I understand, my liege.

ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.

KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.

LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.

KEEPER: What is your name?

LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.

KEEPER: What is your favorite color?

LAUNCELOT: Blue.

KEEPER: Right. Off you go.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

ROBIN: That's easy!

KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.

ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.

KEEPER: What is your name?

ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.

KEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?

ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!

KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?

GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

GALAHAD: I seek the Grail.

KEEPER: What is your favorite color?

GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!

KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?

ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.

KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!

BEDEVERE: How do know so much about swallows?

ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know.