The Ferret Song


I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. (He's got a ferret sticking up his nose.) How it got there I can't tell But now it's there it hurts like hell And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell. (His sense of smell.) I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. (It starts singing when he wears his formal clothes.) I can almost stand the noise But at parties it destroys My hard-earned and carefully cultivated social poise. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. (Worst of all it constantly explodes.) "Ferrets don't explode," you say But it happened nine times yesterday And I should know for each time I was standing in the way. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. (It pokes its head out every time he blows.) I can stand it for a while Although it's absolutely vile It's not as bad as last week when I had a crocodile. I can see a bare-bottomed mandril. (Slyly eyeing his other nostril.) I really don't know what to do But if it jumps inside there too I shall be the proud posessor of a kind of nasal zoo. (A nasal zoo.) I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. (He's got a ferret sticking up his nose.) How it got there I can't tell But now it's there it hurts like hell And what is more it radically affects... My sense of smell!




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